February 2012
4 posts
stimpleton dubeclionius.
stimpleton dubeclionius: he’s making simple macaroni mix.
if only he tested the water before he dropped them in.
now everything’s stuck to the bottom of his pan.
he tries to scrape it the best that he can.
but now all he’s got is something just as futile as him.
7 tags
breaking news: christina aguilera poops her dress.
pop icon christina aguilera sang at the funeral of etta james recently, and while doing so, she totally pooped her fuckin’ dress.
x-tina, who is famous for hitting impressive notes, may have strained a little too hard while singing this etta classic. have you ever tried to sing “at last?” it’s a hard song to sing…i poop my pants every time i sing it. (which is why...
new from debulahn industries: animalistic...
that’s right, technology lovers! maxion voldrahnaix is back in action with some of the newest and most advanced electronic enhancements. equipped with the new deluxe digital action supreme interface, debulahn industries has once again pumped out a series of mechanical weaponry, this time attached to tiny buddies.
i started with buying these bare bad boys at the dollar store; $1.09 for...
January 2012
9 posts
6 tags
notebook bonus II: philip seymour hoffman and...
dark twisters are brewing deep, because it’s time again for the maxion notebook bonus! specializing in lined paper/pencil hybrids, the mvx notebooks are back in action with another analog treat for your tasty vision. in the most recent installment, you will see two things i enjoy substantially: oscar winner philip seymour hoffman and 90’s stand up arcade cabinets. it is still unknown...
7 tags
callahan party series: volume IV.
you heard it right, small friends: the callahan party series is back. way back when, this series started in honor of one of most appreciated maxion voldrahnaix readers, none other than manhattan’s tom callahan. readers of the site are more than likely well aware of tom’s ultimate party status. tom rarely gives a fuck and usually tries to party where ever/whenever he possibly can.
many...
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maxion notebook bonus: lined paper drawings!
maxion voldrahnaix is packed full of digital treats, but every once in a while comes along an analog treat, straight from the mediocre hands of dyl.
below are four different results of my ongoing battle with boredom anxiety. hopefully you enjoy.
tentative tentacles. (pen)
free gloryhole. (mechanical pencil)
poppin’ ass terry and his busted ass fronts. (pencil/sharpie. color on...
9 tags
i am batman.
notable/most memorable portrayals of bob kane’s batman:
lewis wilson: 1943
robert lowery: 1949
adam west: 1966
michael keaton: 1989
dylan mcavenia: 1989 (pictured)
val kilmer: 1995
george clooney: 1997
christian bale: 2005
the night is darkest just before dawn. hats off to all these men who helped keep the streets of gotham city scum free.
maxion voldrahnaix appreciates steve sharp.
if you are a frequent reader of maxion voldrahnaix, you are not only much appreciated, but you are also more than likely familiar with burlington based handsome man/human display of general sweetness, steve sharp. steve is a long time pal and fellow collaborator who has established himself as a key player in the maxion empire, whether it’s his strikingly accurate portrayal of a shitbag...
7 tags
digital surgery: keaton approved.
here you will find a tasty display of electronic surgery. as you, michael keaton and tiny spaceman jean luc picard watch the digital guts being ripped from the inside, one might wonder why i would want innards of a dysfunctional machine. instead of asking yourself that, ask yourself this instead: how else will debulahn industries release the becturion VII, technology’s hottest new...
6 tags
bbq haiku: premium combo.
bbq sauce: delectable; arguably the best condiment known to man.
haikus: imaginative concept; a quick read with a satisfying result.
combined: holy fuck, how has no one thought of this yet?
look no further.
created by dylan mcavenia.
5 tags
small beast wrangler: summon those pups!
about five months ago when maxion voldrahnaix relocated its headquarters to dumbo, brooklyn, i was lucky enough to get a top notch job: video editing, subtitling, laying down wolf bait, executing full tarsahns and ripping dusters. you can’t really ask for a more badass agenda.
FUCKING WRONG!
on the contrary, you actually can ask for a substantially more badass agenda: wrangling small...
9 tags
December 2011
1 post
7 tags
November 2011
4 posts
2 tags
6 tags
7 tags
6 tags
October 2011
2 posts
6 tags
7 tags
September 2011
1 post
10 tags
July 2011
2 posts
4 tags
sand dyl 2.0: i'm so unoriginal.
1992.
2010.
that eighteen year period where i lost interest in writing my name in the sand was a dark time in my life. i’m alright now, though.
10 tags
June 2011
4 posts
8 tags
broke in burlington article: high five etiquette.
you heard it right, tender babies. here is an article i wrote for broke in burlington, a burlington based website for people slumming around in vermont’s tastiest city. if you have not checked us out, i highly suggest you do so. the original article follows. enjoy!
If you’re an avid reader of the BROKE website, chances are you frequently dip your toes into Burlington’s eclectic sea of...
11 tags
6 tags
Watchfemme brut: starring dylan mcavenia, julifer day and michael fisher.
shot by jack nichols.
edited, written and directed by garrett burns.
6 tags
Watchdebaucheria: starring dylan mcavenia and colin dekeersgieter.
shot by garrett burns.
written by dwight stannard and colin dekeersgieter.
directed and edited by dwight stannard.
May 2011
1 post
3 tags
Watchjustingonyea:
Dylan. Video test.
tight.
February 2011
4 posts
5 tags
3 tags
7 tags
in the day into the night: turbo griz.
that’s right, my little tenders…they have arrived. when level six is achieved, the majority of sixers rip colossal amounts of dirps for celebration purposes. while dirps are being chiefed, that’s when they come out: the grizzlers. we all try to get rid of them, but any true level sixer will know that fighting this gooey leviathan is nothing short of pointless; the griz can not...
January 2011
4 posts
east coast beasts: steve sharp, the big gay...
it looks like the west coast isn’t the only coast getting hit with the wrath of hybrid beasts. we here at maxion voldrahnaix are well aware of the metamorphosis that can happen to a good man when exposed to dinosaur dna. it’s sad enough that seattle’s ray mccoy was transformed into a city destroying monster, but when this kind of shit happens on vermont...
7 tags
6 tags
November 2010
1 post
October 2010
5 posts
Watchburlington college film instructor michael fisher presents father.
written and directed by: michael fisher.
cinematography by: nathan beaman.
starring: dylan mcavenia, john kiedaisch, and haley perkins.
minimalistic big dickie.
you heard it here, little dobens. perhaps our most important tribute yet; to the man who made it all possible. to the man who created the disaster who creates disasters and posts them on the interwebs. that’s right, kiddies; when it boils down to it, maxion voldrahnaix would not be riding the waves of technology if it weren’t for the guy responsible for the most bodacious conception...
new years eve: 1989.
i definitely think this was the best new years eve i’ve ever had.
minimalistic patty.
we here at maxion voldrahnaix are big fans of pat floyd, the most perfect man on the planet. logistically, how can you not be? he’s handsome as fuck, he’s a fantastic graphic designer, and he knows his shit in just about every department you want/need to know your shit in.
as my tribute to perfection, i’ve combined visual trademarks of two best friends; the elegant simplicity of...
to the readers:
keep it up. it’s much appreciated.
September 2010
7 posts
west coast beasts: tyRAYnasaurus rex.
kids, you gotta be safe near that dino dna, i’m telling you. it’s hard enough that i lost my good friend ray mccoy to the open road, but the minute someone’s codes get mixed up with dinosaur dna, thus transforming them into a calamitous hybrid of man and beast, well…that’s where i draw the goddamn line.
if you happen to be in the west coast, specifically within fifty...
nickcARTer: down 2 bone.
readers look alive: it’s nickcarter time!
as many of you may know, maxion voldrahnaix is consistently in full support of burlington’s most desirable bachelor. that’s right, the hunter of rando scallies, the king of cut, the slayer of pud…you guessed it: it’s that good nickcarter, and he’s coming at you fast in two dimensional form! and as always, he’s...
one last thing...
and i’ll say it again, cus i tell ya: sometimes you gotta double check that good grocery list and make sure you’re not forgetting any of the necessities. make sure to jot down all of the essentials to make sure your shopping experience is extra special.
news: in the day. (today in news.)
that’s right, sweet buddies! it’s time for maxion voldrahnaix’s second edition of:
september 18th, 2010.
holy shit. i thought i was defensive.
you’ll see here, underlined in red, is what happens when you embarrass the broad at the party with the stanky feet. we here at maxion voldrahnaix are well aware of the fact that the majority of women are widely recognized...
breaking news: fantasy facebook friend requests.
yeah. how do you think i felt? i’m gonna go click confirm…you can all go suck it.
news: in the day. (today in news.)
i know it! maxion voldrahnaix has never really featured much news, but kids, today i had the hunger. i was famished…and my appetite was specific: i was craving that sweet sweet news.
naturally, i got it, and am now here to present it to the people the matter the most: the maxion voldrahnaix readers! (all fifteen of you.) so without further adoodooplat, with a special zing, i give to you:
...
healthy living breakroom art.
that’s right, specials…when there’s no one else cool taking their break from healthy living market at the same time as you, well…sometimes you just need to do some overly obscure art.
kubrickian computer desk symmetry.
check this lady out: she’s pretty extreme, brighter on the left side and no one employed by healthy living market knows who she is. little do...
August 2010
3 posts
kids games III.
the third batch of words recently added to the dictionary in the dylan mcavenia edition of microsoft word: (NOTE: single words intended for simultaneous delivery with another word will be paired together.)
::: bestrian, squandobestrian, varbus, rupahn, bescovance, dobular, jangus bimber, rambus, crim, ploogan, botembo:::
and remember kids: you’re supposed to be looking at the screen, not...